The one who walks on his hind legs has been hogging this a bit lately, so since he's off somewhere doing that stuff he does I'll take the chance to have a word. I've complained before that he will insist on making me share the house with fluffy, furry things. It's bad enough having to share it with him. Well, there's this rabbit.* There's a photo of him somewhere around here. He's not too hard to get along with, as he gets spooked by the spines, so he doesn't get in my way much, but he's a long beast and you find him lying across doorways or in interesting corners all the time. He eats my chocolates, too.
Anyhow they started letting him out into the garden. He's not very bright, and a bit wobbly in the backbone, by the look of it. It took him two days to stop running back inside every time he saw a pigeon. But he got used to nosing around, eating flowers, playing with dry leaves, digging a bit in the sand, sitting on the cool grass, and started feeling really big about it, acting like he owned the place. Till he found a gap by the gate-post and got out onto the mountain. Started thinking he was the king of the countryside, sprawling on the ground like a lion that's just eaten the last local hunter.
Of course, he's never heard of a fox, or an eagle, and he doesn't realize he's a great white lump against the brown earth. You can see him from miles off. He was lucky that it wasn't one of those that found him first. It was the gamekeeper's Landrover. A huge creature making a tremendous noise that suddenly appeared in front of him. He lost that serene superiority he'd been working on rather quickly. The point of these toy rabbits is that they're small and fluffy and can't run. Well, he suddenly remembered his ancestry and ran like a greyhound. Down the hill, through the hole into the garden, inside the house, to the darkest and deepest corner of the storeroom, where he spend the rest of the day. I think he's lost the urge to annex continents to his great majesty.
So, I had a big laugh, and I'm still number one around here. Result.
*Hedgehogs don't do semi-colons.
A Pean for Little England
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