Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Ashes

If the purpose of life is cricket, then the purpose of cricket is to win the Ashes. To beat Australia is the summum of human activity. It is why we are bipedal, it's why god gave us opposable thumbs and an open glenoid process.

Life is a metaphor for cricket. Life is something the cricket lover does during the off-season, which happily has all but ceased to exist now. The true cricket fan, it is said, ias the man who notices in October that his wife left him in May. nowadays, unless there is simultaneous civil war in half a dozen countries, he will never notice at all.

The first Test at Brisbane was inconclusive, but it was the Aussies in the end who had to fight out the draw, in a game they had a good chance of winning at one point. Both batting sides looked good; both bowling attacks looked weak. By the time I can post this you will know the result of the Adelaide Test and so will I*, but whatever happens, England will have started it the happier, more confident side.

*Just found out. Now that is what cricket is all about; reminding Australian cricketers they are human. Nice one the chaps. Btw, I checked, and my wife hasn't left me, though I sometimes wonder why not.


Vincent said...

May you be forgiven for this blabbering. You have a perfect excuse.

Open glenoid process indeed. What have you been drinking. Blessings my son, and sin no more, except when England has a test victory in Australia.

Vincent (Australian by birth, so my blessing carries a certain weight).

Vincent said...

From the OED:

c1375 Eng. Wycliffite Serm. in Sel. Wks. I. 127 And so to blaberynge in þis speche mannis voicis ben not sufficient.
a1400 Cov. Myst. 384 Ces now youre blaberyng in the develis name.
1513 G. Douglas tr. Virgil Æneid Prol. 33 This ignorant blabring imperfyte.
1795 T. Taylor tr. Apuleius Metamorphosis (1822) 234 The vain blabbering of that iniquitous knave.

CIngram said...

At the best of times I'm liable to blabber, babble, blather, and otherwise use the gift of language for the incomplete expression of passing sentiment, rather than for the nobler goals I sometimes strive for.

And when I wrote the post all I knew of the second test was that Aus were out cheaply in the first innings. If I'd known the result it would probably have been incoherent.

In any case, thank you for the blessing, particularly in view of your birth. I cannot, however, promise to remain free from sin, especially if England win the series, but then we are but poor, fallen creatures.